Some Things are Hard to Explain

Yesterday, while driving by a cemetery, Miss B asked about the flowers and headstones. She wanted to know about that place. She thought it looked pretty. I usually have a sort of "open" policy when it comes to telling her stuff. I try to be as honest as possible, while keeping things on a level her four year old brain can comprehend.  This one gave me pause.

This past spring, right before Easter, a friend of mine and her five year old son died tragically in a house fire. While we didn't take Miss B to the viewing or funeral, I couldn't hide my sadness in those days. I wasn't sure what to explain to her, but I knew she would be asking about her friend, when she would see him and play with him. Explaining death to someone so young is difficult. They don't really understand. 

Ever since then, Miss be has sort of had this - I don't know if fascination is the right word - but she frequently asks if people are dead or are going to die. I'll say "don't let your brother get that, he might choke on it" and sometimes she responds with, "and then he'll die?"  

After a few minutes, I decided to stick with my honest is best policy and I explained to her what that place was. She was very quite for a long time and didn't say anything else about it. It's times like these I really wish I could hear her inner dialogue and know what she is thinking.

If there was ever a need for an instruction manual on parenting, I think it would be for this.

Learning to Share is Hard

Learning to share is hard. For Me. Learning to share is hard for me. 

Yesterday Miss B. wanted to color. We had racked up on fifty cent boxes of crayons at the beginning of August when all the school supplies were on sale. So I got her a box and me a box. I LOVE new crayons. Freshly sharpened, not broken, paper still neatly wrapped around the crayon. She had a Care Bears coloring book and I had a Lisa Frank one. Anyone else remember when Lisa Frank was all the rage? Things were going well, and then, she wanted to color MY picture.

To some people this is no big deal, but to the crazy obsessive ones likes me this is a HUGE dilemma. I should teach her to share. It's NOT a big deal. It's JUST a coloring page. 

Except I already had the color scheme all worked out, and she wanted to color my purple unicorn brown and she doesn't color in the lines. 

Sigh 

I wanted to take my coloring book and hide in the closet to finish my picture uninterrupted.  Instead, I closed my eyes and handed over the coloring book to my four year old daughter. Later when my husband got home she proudly showed him the picture that she and mommy colored together. My husband was impressed - with me. And I stayed up late after she went to bed coloring a new picture.

Keeping Me on My Toes

My son is a climber. 

Like seriously. The other day he was in his high chair and I turned around and he was standing on the tray with his hands on the back and one foot over the side about to jump off. This is new territory for me. Miss B. was always happy to stay put on the floor and play with her toys. She NEVER got into things.

Or on top of them. 

He's only ten months, but the crib is already in the lowest position because he tried to climb out of that too. He has long legs (from his daddy, not me) and if he can get he leg on something, he climbs it. 

So gone are my days of putting him somewhere safe for a little while while I get something done. Because with the climbing on top of stuff, comes the falling off of stuff.

Sometimes that Happens to Mommies

I was sitting on the living room floor playing with my ten month old son when suddenly I was besieged by the sneezes. I couldn't stop. And at around the tenth sneeze guess what happened? If you've ever pushed a baby out of your vagina you're only gonna need one guess. Yup. I peed my pants. My husband was laughing at me and when I said "Oh a peed my pants a little with that one!' my four year old was shocked. I wish I'd had a camera to capture her face at that moment. Have you've ever see a child's face when they've just been told something they find unbelievable and they aren't all together sure if you're serious or not? I could have just told her Santa wasn't real, or N'SYNC was getting back together.  She was standing there with her mouth open, half smiling, just staring at me.

 She said, "you're just kidding right?" I wish.

 "Nope, sometimes that happens to mommies."