We're in Trouble Now

It's official. Dimples is mobile! The difference between him and his sister is making her understand that she can't leave stuff where he can get it. I took this picture after he snagged a bowl from the tea party she was having and took it under his play seat. In Miss B's eyes this changes EVERYTHING. She didn't mind sharing her toys when he would just lay there and she could pick and choose what to let him have, but now that he's helping himself, she doesn't want him to touch any of her stuff. I heard for the first time her screams of "no that's mine!" followed by his cries. I know it won't be the last.

Honeysuckle





Miss B 2yrs old



The honeysuckle is in bloom here. It's a sign the warm weather really has arrived. When we bought our house seven years ago, this honeysuckle bush was the very first thing I planted. It grows all along our front fence, and the fragrance is wonderful. You'll smell it before you see it, and if the windows are open, the scent fills the entire house. When I was a kid in Louisiana, the playground fence at my elementary school was overgrown with wild honeysuckle. When the sweet flowers bloomed, the usually crowded monkey bars would be empty and there would be no line for the swings. All the kids could be found at the back of the play yard enjoying a tiny sweet treat. Of course I can't keep Miss B. out of them. She was overjoyed with excitement when they bloomed this year, and this was the first time I told her their secret. Seeing her standing at the fence giggling and sucking the nectar out of the flowers, it takes me back to my childhood. Sigh.





Co-Sleeping

I've seen alot of discussion on this topic recently. I think it's one of the most debated things between us moms right up there with breastfeeding and circumcision. I think everyone has and opinion (even those with no right to judge on the matter). Here's what I have to say: With my first I didn't set out thinking "I'm going to co-sleep." It just happened. In fact, I was wracked with guilt in the beginning because I felt, or was made to feel by some people, that I was doing it wrong and it was bad for my daughter. People told me I would smother her and it wasn't safe, and other people told me I would never get her out of our bed. I was so scared of the first that for the first few months I slept with her on top of me. I worried about that too because she was sleeping on her stomach and all the "experts" warn against that too, As for the second, when I was ready, about the time she was one, I decided to attempt a move to the crib. I started her off slowly, getting her to nap in there during the day. Then one night, I put her in there and walked out. She cried, of course, but it only lasted a couple of hours
and that was it. She was ready too. With the exception of a few stormy nights, she has slept in her own bed ever since. When my son came along, I knew I would follow the same path with him. He is almost seven months old and he sleeps in the bed with us. Pretty soon I'll get him working on the crib. He is alot different than my daughter, and I'm anticipating it might be a little more difficult, but I don't regret having him in the bed with me. For one thing, when he wakes up in the middle of the night I don't even have to wake up to nurse him. So co-sleeping has worked out for me. But that doesn't mean that I think other women who choose something different are bad moms. I think there are so many worse ways we can worry about messing up our kids, and I think that we all need to stop this pitting women against women, mother vs mother in this who does it best contest. There is no one right way, only the way that's right for you.

Should Every Kids Get a Trophy?

I happen to have a kid that is naturally athletic. She plays soccer, does karate and gymnastics. I know this sounds like a lot for a four year old, but I don't force her, and she loves it. I even had to draw the line because she wanted to take dance too. I don't know where she gets it from because I have neither the talent nor the desire for sports. This past weekend was the last game of the season for soccer, and at the end all the coaches for all the teams handed trophies to all the kids. Now at this age, there is no tournaments so there really is no winning teams and loosing teams, but in the older age groups all the kids get them, even if their team never wins a match. Is that fair? I don't really have a decisive opinion on this issues, because I understand both sides. On one hand, my kid is really good and I feel like she should be recognized as special for this, but on the other hand, I would be heart broken for her if she had to see other kids getting a trophy, but she didn't get one. But by giving all the kids trophies what are we teaching them? Are we really preparing them for the realities of life? Are we just setting them up for future disappointments? I really don't know. What do you think?

3 Going on 13

Miss B will be four this August, but I swear she's shooting for 13. I feel like I'm living with a teenager. She's already got down the eye roll, arguing with everything I say, and dramatic door slamming. She cries because I won't let her play with my make up and only wants to wear the ugliest clothes I think were ever made for little girls. The other day, in the midst of yet another argument, I said, "you know your life would be a whole lot easier if you would just listen to me!" to which she responded, "NO, my life would be easier if you would just let me do what I want!"  sounds like every teenager girl I've ever met.

A Test

Mother's Day was awesome. My kids were even kind enough to take a nap at the same time! Miss B. rarely naps anymore, it was especially appreciated. Then, around eight in the evening, my husband got the call we have been dreading. His boss called, and he's run out of work. My husband is a brick mason, so we do plan for some amount of instability. You have to when your income depends on good weather. It's not a permanent lay off. They have a big job starting at the end of August, or beginning of September. We can survive this, if we are careful with our money, but can we survive three or four months spending all day together? Part of me thinks yea! I will have a helper around the house, but another part of me worries that he will be another body here making even more mess. I love my husband dearly, but am I ready to have his constant presence? This will be a test for us.

Push Present

"What the hell is a push present? Don't tell me women get gifts for giving birth? This might sound cheesy but the best gift would be a healthy baby! Just saying"

This was a post from someone I know on  Facebook yesterday that started a kind of debate. The person who wrote this has never given birth, and doesn't have any children. What was most surprising to me was how offended I automatically felt by her comments. (I would like to note that I love this person like a sister). Yes, a healthy baby is the best thing you could ask for, but I kind of think the concept of a push present is kind of sweet. When you've pushed a watermelon out of your vagina, getting a little gift from the person who put the watermelon there in the first place is a nice gesture. I know extravagant  push presents are all the rage in Hollywood, and I'm sure that's what she's referring to, but the point is should she get to have an opinion about this?

Flashback Friday

This being my first flashback post, I've decided to go back to what brought me here in the first place. The birth of my first child, my daughter. This picture is her and her daddy when she was one day old. From the very beginning they adored each other. I had a c-section with her, so we had a few extra days in the hospital and he hardly ever left our side. He changed her diapers, gave her her first bath, and even put her in her first outfit. On the rare occasion he was out of the room, the nurses would gush to me about what a daddy my little girl had. And they're still a duo. Everyday when he comes home from work they play. He takes her outside and lets her help him in the garden, or plays soccer with her, or takes her for a bike ride. He's a big guy, 6'1" and broad shouldered with a gruff looking beard. Paul Bunyan in the flesh. But he can shelve all that rugged masculinity and let her put make up one him and paint his toes. The best thing is he has a kind of patience with her that I can never seem to find. Probably because she is so much like me.

My Wal-Mart Rant

First of all, let me explain that in some places of this country, Wal-marts aren't as big of deal, and there are plenty of other options. But here, in southeast TN, Walmart is a way of life. I'm serious. There is one off EVERY exit and they are HUGE and open 24 hours. They are referred to as "Wally World". As a person on a budget, there aren't a whole lot of other choices, and they are all big corporate conglomerates anyway. And lets not forget Sam's Club - Walmart's version of Costco, where you can buy everything from sugar to condoms buy the pallet. They even sell gas. I LOATHE shopping there. I feel like even when I "save" I loose. Like everything made for Wal-Mart was made cheaper to start with. What's the point of only paying a buck fifty for a bag of lemons when they are going to be growing penicillin three days after you bring them home..which is exactly what happened and ignited this rant. I told Miss B we would make lemonade today, but when I got up this morning, the lemons, which looked fine yesterday, were covered in green and white powder. It's like that with almost all produce I buy from there - which is not alot. But since lemons don't grow well here, I have to buy them. Or not, I guess we don't HAVE to drink lemonade. Or we could buy it pre-made. But I know this, and yet I continue to shop there.  Isn't the definition of insanity repeating the same action and expecting different results?.......Aaaand end rant.

Since Having Kids..

There is lots of things that I do differently since having kids:

 Beginning with the luggage I now carry around, because let's face it, that's what a diaper bag really is, luggage. And even though you stuff it until it can barely be zipped, it will ALWAYS be missing something you need. Usually it's a change of clothes for one of your children because you'll leave the same clothes in there until they've out grown them, which you don't realize until they are standing naked in a public bathroom, poop/pee/vomit covered clothes in a pile on the floor and you're holding up something they stopped fitting into six months ago.  Can't wait to carry a cute little purse again.      

I stopped wearing dangle earrings three years ago

I spell a lot more words when I'm talking (but ironically enough my spelling when I'm typing is horrible! Thank God for spell check!)

                                             

The song that get stuck in my head are the themes to kids shows. Wanna have a vote on most annoying? I vote for the Dora theme song.

It's not all bad though:

I care alot less of what people think of me.

I'm alot less selfish than I used to be.

I have superpowers.

I'm more loved than ever.

Just Chillin'

I don't write much about Dimples, but he's still here. His personality is starting to show itself, and thankfully, so far at least, he's polar opposite from his drama queen sister. He just sits around, usually eating his toes, or if he's wearing them, his socks. He's popped out a couple of teeth, along with BUCKETS of drool. He's so content all the time, and I'm really thankful. I don't know if I could manage a demanding baby along with Little Miss B. He does get fussy when I'm not around, making things hard on his daddy, but as long as Mommy is in the room, he's a happy camper. Recently we've been getting him more toys - he's six months now so he needs more than little wrist rattles. Miss B has confiscated them all, but he doesn't seem to care. He worships his sister. She was the first person to make him laugh, and she still can get him rolling like no one else. He smiles at everybody which makes me really popular with the old folks at the grocery store. I don't know if this relaxed personality is partly because he's a boy? Either way, I'll take it!

Terrible Twos?

If the twos are considered terrible than what are the threes? Tantrum throwing threes? Torturous threes? I LOVED the twos with Little Miss B. She was funny and sweet....and then like someone flipped a switch on her third birthday she wasn't so sweet anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still love my daughter dearly, but over the past year I have felt a few other emotions towards her too. I'm sure my difficult pregnancy, and then the birth of her brother during this time might have made things a little harder. Soon she will be four and I'm hoping the switch will flip again. One of the reasons I opted to be a stay at home mom was I had fantasies of raising my daughter and imparting all of my knowledge to her. I had dreams of us baking, and my teaching her to knit and sew and garden and cook. Basically I wanted to be the stay at home crafty version of the Gilmore Girls. So far, it hasn't quite worked out that way. We spend most of our time with me standing there just bewildered and absolutely speechless by something she's done.  So I have my fingers crossed for the fours. Fabulous fours maybe?

Oh the Things They Say

Little Miss B has a fun new habit...she likes to ask complete strangers if they have fur on their privates. Yup, she's asking people about pubic hair. This all started a few days ago when I was taking a bath and of course she had to use the toilet. So I'm sitting naked in the tub, having a conversation with her while she poops when all of a sudden she point to my crotch and says, "mommy, why do you have fur there?" Then she stands up on the stool she uses and doubles over to look at herself. "I don't have fur!" I explained  to her that little kids didn't have fur, only grown ups. She was fascinated.
"Does Daddy have fur?"
"Yes."
"Does Brother have fur?'
"No"
"Because he's a boy?"
"No, because he's not a grownup."
"Doesn't Aunt J. have fur?"

She proceeded to name every person she could think of, questioning the existence of their pubic hair. I didn't even go into explaining to her about the removal of the 'fur' and to what extent that some people choose. I was actually kind of unprepared for this conversation. She's seen me naked a thousand times and has never commented before. When we brought Dimples home I was all prepared for the penis conversation, but she never asked about it. She was more interested in his umbilical cord before it fell off. And now, when we go places and people talk to her, she wants to know if they have fur.

Clean House, Messy House

My husband's cousin and his wife are some of the only people that have stayed regularly in our lives since we had kids. Probably because even though they don't have any of their own, they both really like children and aren't bothered by the noises young kids make that tend to make other spawnless adults cringe. They've been talking recently about starting a family of their own and I really hope they do.It always makes me laugh when I go over to their house and she is all apologetic because she didn't get a chance to clean before we came. I've tried explaining to her that her idea of messy would be what my house might look like if everyone left for like two days and I had 48hours of uninterrupted cleaning. Part of it is that they have yet to accumulate all the stuff that kids come with. At this point, if we are having company, I have to concentrate on a few key areas. I clear the folded/unfolded (or maybe dirty) laundry off of the couch with the least amount of juice stains. I do the foot sweep, pushing all toys off to the side out of the main areas of walking. Check the bathroom and make sure the toilet has been flushed and clean and droplets of pee off the seat, and I might even take a quick glance in the fridge and toss any containers of food that have transitioned from leftovers to science experiment. That's about all I get cleaned for company....which probably explains why we don't have that much.

Mom Has Eyes in the Back of Her Head

When I gave birth, along with two kids and a bladder problem I also got MOMMY POWERS. It is amazing. You know that saying "mom has eyes in the back of her head"? She really does along with a few other special abilities...

1. The ability to notice the most random object (like a barbie shoe or piece of string) an hour before someone is looking for it.

2. Can sense disaster moments before it strikes

3. Knows where EVERYTHING is. (You have to be careful with this superpower because if used too often family will become lazy and stop looking for things themselves).

4. Gets an iron stomach. NOTHING will gross mom out.

5. Can "hear" trouble...especially when it's being too quite.

Anybody get these powers too? How about other magical abilities that came along with having kids?

I Let Them Eat Dirt

What is it about kids and their vegetables? Do they naturally hate them or is it some self fulfilling prophecy where we automatically expect them to not want the veggies so were start off being aggressive about it, which is what is putting them off? Miss B actually likes vegetables, just not on her plate. She will come snatch a piece of a carrot or broccoli from the cutting board, but if it's on her plate she "doesn't yike dat." Her favorite way to eat her veggies, though, it covered in dirt right from the ground. Even before we had kids my husband and I gardened. I think he wants to be a farmer when he grows up, because every year he adds more and more. Our garden is actually one thing I'm really proud of. Miss B gets a kick out of helping her daddy too. I've always heard that if you show kids where healthy foods come from, they will want to eat them. I guess that's kind of true. But hey, if it gets them eating the good stuff, I don't care if it has a little dirt on it.